Overcoming Fear and Going After Your Bliss
I mentioned a few weeks ago that there was going to be some good news posted here. It is official now so I can post it. I am taking a three-month leave of absence from work to write a book and spend more time with our son while Missy opens up her own retail shop in town. Both of us have long been afraid of doing what we want to do and it has created a lot of problems. We are our only roadblocks, and it’s about time we get out of our own way.
This is one of the reasons we are selling the property. It will free up a lot of time and capital needed for us to make this gigantic leap of faith. We will be staying in Floyd, Virginia. This is our home now. But we will be downsizing considerably, probably down to about 10-15 acres and a much smaller house. We may even have one more piece of good, exciting news to share on this front soon as well.
I have always wanted to write. My need to communicate via the written language is compulsive, and it is what I feel most “in flow” while doing. The world drops away. Nothing else matters. Only words to convey thoughts. Only writing to understand myself, with hopes that some people will understand the writing from a perspective of shared experiences. But I have been afraid. I have been afraid that I am not good enough. I have been afraid that I won’t know how to start or finish a book; afraid that nobody will publish it, or that nobody will want to read it. After all, just because we “want” to do something doesn’t mean we’re good at it. So my fear, not anyone else’s, has been holding me back. I have kept myself from going after my bliss. No more. Fear no longer stands in my way. Failure is OK with me because it sure beats the alternative.
Missy isn’t letting fear stand in her way either. Starting a new retail business is scary. A lot has to be done. Most such businesses fail within the first two years. But what is scarier – the thought of failing, or the thought of wondering “what if” for the rest of your life? She is a born seamstress. What most clothing designers spend years learning she can just pick up almost overnight. I am constantly amazed at what she can do with fabric. If anyone can make an Upcycled, Vintage and Repurposed clothing store work it will be her.
Failure is possible for both of us, but allowing fear to stand in our way is no longer an option.
So… forward. With as much love and grace and hope and determination and fearlessness as we can muster we have both taken big steps forward. Missy has signed the lease to her shop and is getting all of the paperwork prepared. October will begin my three-month window to get a solid start on one of two books I have outlined. Our home is up for sale and we have a great place to rent-to-own when it sells. We have done our best to prepare ourselves financially and emotionally for the leap.
No matter what happens I know things will work out. I have been experiencing this amazing feeling of “going with the flow” lately. As a friend recently said to me “If not this, then something better”. That is how I feel. I will do my part and let the river of life do its part. I am finished trying to swim upstream.
How have you overcome your fear or is fear still keeping you from going after your bliss? What do you feel most “in flow” when doing? When are you most “in the zone”? What activities make you forget about time, and all of your worries? For me it is writing, gardening and cuddling with my son. Missy loses herself in crafts, and in our son too. What do you lose yourself in?
Category: Simple Thoughts, The Transplants
Everett writes about voluntary simplicity. This blog catalogs his search for "the good life" as he tries to strike a balance between work and play, freedom and responsibility, simplicity and comfort.
Wow! I’m so glad to hear you’re moving forward! I was terrified at various stages of our projects, but the results have always been wonderful (eventually.
) I’m dying to read your book(s)!
Bravo! Bravo! This is what life is for. May you both succeed in following the paths your souls set out for you. Just the fact that you are willing to actually change your lives in order to do what you feel compelled to do will bring even greater courage to you in the future and open up countless opportunities not yet dreamed of. May it be so.
I enjoy your writing very much, and I think you should go for it! I always stop to read Living a Simple Life when my emails come in! Best Wishes
Congrats Everett and Missy. I always feel that way. Fear too holds me back. What if I fail? What if I don’t succeed? It isn’t just me who suffers my family does too. So I don’t follow my passions nor does my husband. Maybe one day when the river flow slows down and bills are smaller then maybe our hobbies can become soemthing more. Can you give us a hint about the books? Will it be about homesteading or something else? a great novel?
Hey Mickey,
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful response. We are very fortunate to be in a position where we have the financial opportunity to do this. We’ll basically be living off of the equity in our home for awhile since we put so much down when we bought it. This is the window we have to make what we want to be doing pay the bills. We have been scaling back our expenses for many years now and it is that, I think, which has been the determining factor in our willingness to take this risk. Without a little bit of a safety net I don’t think it would happen, especially with a child and a mortgage.
We know how it feels not to be following your passions because we’ve been that way for a long time. It is tough on happiness and marriages. I hope you both get to a place where you feel at least one of you can make that leap without putting your family at risk. It is a tough place to get to in an economy like this.
I think I’ll cover the book ideas in another post soon. Thanks for asking!
Awesome!!! I can’t wait to hear about your books, and come see Missy’s shop.
As for fear – I think you are right on about that. I’m not sure what I’m afraid of, but it’s there. I’m torn about what I really want to do next. It seems you both have a really strong pull toward a single thing, and that will make you succeed.
I’m looking forward to your wife’s shop. In the meantime, are her creations sold anywhere else in town?
Hey Kerry,
Missy had some owl pillows in a few places in town, but at the moment all of her stuff is on Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/SalvagedThreads . She will be officially open some time in early-mid October.
Thanks!
Congrats, guys! I’m really excited for you! I have a lot of fears about failing so i really admire what you are doing. I’m also still trying to figure out my passions. I love my family. I can easily lose myself in a research/writing project. I’m lately obsessed with knitting and I’m currently taking a sewing class. Now if only I could make an income with those things. Maybe someday! Good luck with the book. I admire your courage. Next time we are in Floyd I look forward to checking out Missy’s store. Congrats again!
It’s been a while since I’ve read the blog. I really liked this post. I’m coming to bed now.